But what's keeping me up now is how real it all seems to me. For almost 9 months my impending labor has been insulated by the knowledge that Beth was going to deliver before I do- close, but before (our due dates are 11 days apart). Going in and seeing Beth yesterday, although we didn't get there until after Isabel was about an hour old, really brought it all home. And every little possible complication (and there are a lot with bringing a child into this world) is so stark and scary. But more superficially, I'd managed to block the memories of the pain involved in the process. Not that I'd forgotten it, but more that the concept of it was sort of soft and blurry around the edges. Not anymore. Watching just my sister's post-birth discomfort/pain was enough to dredge the still-not-yet-complete memory of how horrible and scary that pain was, and will be. And it's harder because it's a double-edged sword. I just want Dagan to be born, so we can meet him and complete the family, and also so I can stop being pregnant, which really sucks. But of course there's that minor stumbling block in the way, that of labor and delivery.
But I digress... Isabel did wonderfully (I was going to use terrific as an adverb, but what would that be? Terrifically? Terrificly?), Beth and Julio did great as well, and I'm so happy to be an aunt on my side of the family, to know my sister's child, and look forward to watching her grow up.
